A Blessed Mom of Two

As I've expressed in an earlier post, I was extremely nervous to become a mom of two kids. Not only did I not have a clue how I would manage taking care of two kiddos, but with one of them being an 18 month old that has only two speeds- fast and faster, the task seemed impossible to me. It caused me a great deal of anxiety and stress. I was not excited to deal with another miserable recovery and possibly postpartum depression again after giving birth. Heath and I spent many moments on our knees asking for peace and comfort to come to me, for added strength, and good health. I must share my testimony that I know prayers are answered. Our Heavenly Father knows the trials we will be able to bare with his help. He does let us struggle to make us stronger, but He also sends us tender mercies exactly when we need them.

Answers to our prayers have come in many different ways. I was blessed with good health and a quick recovery after having Brock. I was able to do a mini triathlon six weeks after giving birth. It was tough for me, but felt so good to accomplish something like that again. Thanks to my awesome husband who cheered me on and watched the boys so I could train for it!  Gotta love those endorphins! Being able to exercise so soon has kept me energized to keep up with the Captain. I feel blessed to have had a healthy pregnancy and no complications after birth.

Jack got me pumped for the big race.

Glad the Captain was my partner for the run leg. 

I wasn't so lonely walking the 1.5 miles with him!

These two old foggies finished way ahead of me. 

I love how tough my parents are!

Not only was I healthy, but my little family has been as well. Heath, Jack, and Brock are strong healthy boys! I realize that has been a huge tender mercy from the Lord. It made the adjustment of another baby much easier for me. Jack's adjustment to being a big bro was also an answer to prayers. He has been a trooper. Of course he has rough days, just like I do, but overall it hasn't been very difficult on him. He LOVES Brock and is eager for the day his little brother can play pass with him.

Another blessing has come in the form of new employment. Heath's commute shortened from 80 minutes a day to 5 minutes. Goodbye Hillcrest Huskies, Hello Stansbury Stallions! Jack, Brock, and I get to see Heath much more now. He even comes home for lunch! We love it. It also means I have a little more help wrestling the boys. Heavenly Father knew it was something our family needed.

I have felt Heavenly Father's love in abundance as I have turned to him in prayer, seeking His help with the challenges of motherhood. He knows the trials and tender mercies we need. I'm grateful for the refining I am experiencing as I fulfill my role as a wife and mother. Spending all day with these two, is the most demanding and rewarding job I could ask for.

Brock : 6 weeks of Heart-Melting Moments

The saying "time flies when you're having fun" must be true. 6 weeks has gone by ridiculously fast and I truly have enjoyed having this handsome little man in my life the last month and a half.

We have had many heart-melting moments with Brock already. Here's my top 6...

Heart-Melting Moment #1:

This is really multiple moments, and all are by far my favorite. I was really worried about how Jack would react to our new addition to the family. But the Captain has taken on the role of big brother perfectly, showering Brock with hugs and kisses often. Every morning and after his nap when Jack first sees Brock he sweetly says (as sweet as you can say at the top of your lungs), "Hi!!! Hi!!! Hi!!!!!!!" and grinning ear to ear lays on his belly next to the Brockster and puts his face right in front of Brocks. It seems to me he has been waiting and waiting for his brother to get here. And Brock has looked at Jack a few times like he already knows who he is, as if he is thinking, "There you are bro...its been a while." These brothers completely melt my heart.

Heart-Melting Moment #2:
I love watching Heath interact with his boys. He will be roughing Jack up one moment and then tenderly talking to and holding Brock the next. Some guys are awkward or uncomfortable with babies, but not my hunk of lovely. He often tells me "He's is a handsome little guy." or "Brock gets cuter ever day doesn't he?" Seeing Brock with his daddy melts my heart.

Heart-Melting Moment #3:
During his first few days of life, Brock made it clear he wanted me to kiss his sweet cheeks and lips by making this face whenever he was awake. Of course I give in to my handsome little man! The adorable faces he makes melts my heart.

Heart-Melting Moment #4:
I also give in to cuddling with him for hours when Jack is napping or watching cartoons. Brock loves to cuddle up on mine or Heath's chest and we love it too. Jack was not and is still not a snuggler. It will take a lot of self control not to cuddle Brock to sleep each night. Nothing can quite compare to snuggling with a new little baby. This miracle melts my heart.

Heart-Melting Moment #5:
Bath time means relaxation for Brock. He is quite content in the tub. However, he doesn't like drying off afterward. Being a water-lover myself, of course it makes me happy to have another baby comfortable in the water. I only hope it continues! My bathing babe melts my heart.

Heart-Melting Moment #6:
A day over 6 weeks old, Brock decided it was time to smile. I have anxiously been waiting for this and trying relentlessly to get a smile out of my little man for the past week with no luck. We've seen a brief grin here and there, but guessed it was just gas. I must have finally said something funny yesterday because while I was giving Brock my best baby talk, he gave me a big grin, dimples and all! Since then the smiles have continued. The only picture I could capture was when he was asleep. It doesn't show his full smile, but trust me its a cute smile! Its a smile that melts my heart.

Brock, thanks for bringing us so many heart-melting moments. 

I can't wait for the millions more to come. 

We love you!

Moments with Captain Jack

For Easter this year, my mother-in-law gave us the church nursery manual to help us plan Family Fight Nights (my dad's term for FHE). This book has been a great tool to start teaching our Captain about the gospel. Our first lesson lasted 2 minutes. We started by singing 'Jesus Wants Me For A Sunbeam', which made Jack erupt into laughter every time we sang the word "sunbeam". Our lesson consisted of looking at a picture of a little boy and his mom praying and showing Jack how we fold our arms. Jack tried folding his arms once and then made it clear he was done with Family Fight Night. He hoped off the couch and started running all over the house. We tried encourage him to pray with us at dinner as well, but Jack would just stare at us and sometimes even giggle.

A few days later we were visiting Grandma and Grandpa in Kamas. Jack, my mom, and I sat down at the table for some lunch. My mom and I were chatting and began eating. Jack jabbered something at us loudly and when we looked him he folded his arms, bowed his head slightly, and mumbled something for a brief second. When he was done he started chowing down on his lunch. My mom and I were humbled and in awe. Thank you for reminding us to pray Jack! The same thing has happened many times since then. Multiple prayers are often offered by Jack through out any given meal. I pray that this will be the start of a lasting testimony for my sweet kiddo.

I never would have thought that a 2 minute lesson would have made much of an impact, but it did. I have a testimony of the prophets and apostles' counsel to hold Family Home Evening. I've seen the impact of FHE from a perspective as a daughter, sister, and now as a mother. Truly, by small and little things are great things brought to pass.

Brock's Story

It was the morning of July 15, 2013- sunny and hot. I was 4 days past my due date, beyond tired of pregnancy, and headed into the clinic for my 40 week checkup. Heath and Jack were with me, along with our bag for the hospital, with big hopes I would be able to be induced. For two weeks prior I had been having clusters of migraines, restless leg syndrome, and troubles sleeping. Enduring to the end has a whole new meaning for an overdue pregnant lady. Although I had a hard time admitting it at the time, deep down I knew it would all be worth it.

At the check up Dr. Rallison told me I was far enough along to be induced. He also striped my membranes to see if that would help the process along. Excitement rushed through me, thinking we would soon be meeting our new baby. But it was soon put on hold because after calling the hospital to see if I could be admitted, my doctor said labor and delivery was too full to take me for an induction. We made plans to come back later in the afternoon. After stopping at a few stores and meeting Grandma Annie for lunch, we were back at the clinic. This time the hospital had good news for us. They could take us at 3:45pm. It was a weird feeling knowing we would be having a baby soon without being in labor yet.

Jack took Grandma Annie back to our house for a fun sleep over and Heath and I headed to the Church History Museum on Temple Square to spend the last hour before our induction. However, after walking in I was sure I was finally in labor and had no desire to walk around the museum. I would have scheduled an induction sooner if I knew that's all it took to go into labor! I sat on a bench in the lobby while Heath took care of some phone calls. While sitting there and having a few contractions, I began to remember all the unpleasant things about giving birth and the miserable recovery I had with Jack. I became completely overwhelmed, scared, and on the verge of tears. Right at that moment Heavenly Father sent me a tender mercy. Playing on the large screen in the lobby was a message from President Uchtdorf about the restoration of the gospel. I can't recall what he testified of exactly, but I won't forget the incredible feeling of peace that overcame me. I knew everything was going to be fine.

That feeling of peace was soon interrupted by a really strong contraction. After it passed I walked outside and told Heath to get off the phone or I was going to the hospital without him. He decided he better listen to me and we made it to the hospital together. I'm so grateful for a such a supportive and patient husband. He offered me a great deal of comfort in those early hours of labor. After having an epidural we were able to spend time relaxing with each other while waiting for the big event.

Around 8:00pm we noticed my contractions were slowing down and I hadn't progressed much. I was dilated to a 6, so Heath was pretty sure he was going to lose the bet of when our newest little guy would arrive. He guessed 8:14. With my guess being 9:23, I wasn't likely to win either. Fearing I would be ready to push before my doctor finished a c-section that was about to begin, our nurse said they wouldn't give me pitocin until he was out of surgery. Close to 11:00pm, I was given a little pitocin and in 20 minutes I dilated from a 7 to 10 and was ready to push. Our nurse was a little rushed to get everything ready for the delivery! My epidural had worn off quite a bit, so I could feel lots of pressure and wanted this baby out. I warned the nurse of Heath's passing out incident during Jack's delivery, so she was kind enough to put a chair behind him for me. And Heath kept his promise to me and used the chair, even though he said he wouldn't need to, rather than passing out! He was feeling better just in time. After 10 minutes of pushing we finally laid eyes on our precious new baby! As I held him in my arms, I was overcome with love. Its all worth it. 

Before weighing him, Heath and I and the nurses all guessed he would be around 7.5lbs. None of us could believe it when 8.09 popped up on the scale! He wasn't letting anyone win bets on his stats that night. 

Naming this little guy was a struggle. Miles was my top pick. Tommy was Heath's. We could only agree on Brock and Owen. Eventually, Heath gave me permission to write down whatever I wanted on the social security paper. Before seeing him I would have picked Miles in a heartbeat, but after two days of staring at him in the hospital he looked like a Brock to me. So welcome to the family little Brock!

Brock Kerry Bleazard

Born:  July 15, 2013

At:  11:30pm

Weight:  8 lbs 1 oz

Length:  21.5 inches long

Captain Jack's Log : 18 months

Keeping up with our 18 month old Captain while being 9 months pregnant has been an exhausting adventure. Although the last couple of months have wiped me out, I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. I'm addicted to this kiddo. Just when I think its impossible to love him any more than I do, I find out there is more to love.

I loved Jack's longer hair, especially when the back got curly or on Sundays when I gave him a handsome part to the side. Heath did not feel the same way and often threatened he was going to buzz it all off when I was gone. When the intense summer heat hit, Heath convinced me it was time... Jack's First Hair Cut.

With Heath's years of experience trimming bulls before cattle shows, I handed over the reigns to him. The clippers didn't bother Jack at all and playing with shaving cream on the mirror was a big hit. My heart ached just a little has I watched big chunks of my baby's brown locks fall onto the counter. 

But the heart aches were soon mended when this handsome kid emerged from the Cattle Trimmer's Barber Shop. So long baby Jack- hello little boy! Jack's hair cut seemed to make him a few years older. My little bug is growing up too fast!!! His reaction was priceless- he looked in the mirror, put his hands on his head, and said "WOW!". So handsome. I'm addicted to Jack's new look. 

Its no secret Jack has always loved balls. I've loved watching him play pass with Heath in our living room, but recently Jack showed me there is more of his athleticism to love. His skills seem to improve every week. Throwing is no longer enough. The Captain is now trying to dribble, shoot, and mimic Heath by throwing a ball against the wall and trying to catch it or laying the ground and throwing it directly above his head and trying to catch it. You can imagine how that last game turns out just by saying we have lots of work to do on catching... Running full speed in the basement while kicking his soccer ball is also a new favorite game and spiral passes with the football aren't uncommon. Of course I can't forget to mention Jack is becoming quite the fearless fish. Lying flat on his back or belly in the tub, kicking, blowing bubbles, and thinking he doesn't need me to hold him in the pool gives me hope I'll be sitting at a few swim meets in the coming years.

While spending 2 hours at the park one Saturday, Jack tried to make a basket for at least 30 mins. Little boy with big ambitions! Heath and I couldn't have been prouder watching him try so hard. I'm addicted to my determined baller. 

From trying to put his socks and shoes on himself to figuring out how to turn on the computer, Jack is busy learning new things everyday- learning new ways to cause trouble or make messes too. He knows we need shoes on to go outside, so when he is tired of being inside he brings me my shoes and tries to put them on my feet and says "mom yide (outside) go".  Jack also loves watching Bob the Builder on the computer and because of this he thinks my macbook pro belongs to him. Jack has developed a new love for trucks, tractors, and motorcycles in the last few months. Sitting on Heath's new dirt bike, the four wheeler, or in the skid steer has been a big thrill. While working with Heath outside one evening, Jack climbed onto the four wheeler like he always does. But when Heath looked up to check on him he was standing on the seat jumping! 

I wish I could record all the fun discoveries the Captain makes, but my journaling can't keep up with how fast this kid learns. I'm addicted to my fast-learning mischief maker.

Soon after Jack hit his 18 month mark, he became a big brother (little bro's post will be coming soon). Prior to this, Heath and I had many talks speculating how Jack would react. Both of us didn't think he would do too well. The Captain has had our full attention for the last year and a half and was not okay with us holding other babies. Trying to prepare Jack for baby brother was fun. Despite Jack's rough and tough personality, he does have a sweet, loving side too. He never let go of a chance to give my prego belly a kiss or hug. While I was sorting through newborn clothes one day, Jack picked up a little onsie and in a sweet voice said "Ooo!". But it was still clear Jack wasn't completely sure what was going on because when we would ask him where little brother was he would happily pull up his own shirt and point to his belly. 

Once again Jack showed me there is more of him to love. He shocked us by completely love having little brother home. Its been two weeks and he hasn't shown any jealousy or resentment of our new addition to the family. He is eager to help get me a baby diaper, give Brock kisses and hugs, and pick out clothes with balls on for him to wear. I'm addicted to Captain Big Bother.

Moments with Captain Jack

Just a week or so ago I went to get Jack after he woke up from his nap. He was happily playing in his crib like he usually does when he wakes up, but the Captain discovered a new game he was proud to show me and I was beyond proud to watch. Jack would stand up on one end of his crib, raise his hands, say "go", and give a quick clap. He then would run to the other end of his crib and grab the railing with a big smile. My little track star-in-training repeated the entire drill several more times. Since then Heath and I have both found him doing the same thing after naps many times. All those afternoons at track practice chasing Jack around while trying to coach hurdles paid off!

Restless Legs, Restless Mind, Restless Heart

Its well past midnight and I can't sleep- just like last night and the night before that and the night before that. Having the privilege to be pregnant also means I get the privilege to have restless leg syndrome the final weeks of my pregnancy. It has kept me up for many nights and therefore caused many migraines. Migraines while being 40 weeks prego are a completely different story we won't get into....Thank goodness for a sweet husband, caring mother, and modern medicine!

Its not good for a woman large with child to have so many hours to think and feel every tiny contraction/braxton hick. Not only are my legs restless, but my mind and heart are as well. Like most expectant mothers during their last few weeks, I can't stop wondering when my little man is going to come. My emotional and mental state is beyond ready for him to get out, but he seems perfectly content where he is-- sounds an awful lot like his big bro. Even though the last week has past by so slowly, I know I need to be patient and soak in the few joys of being pregnant because once he is here time will fly by. Before I know it, he will be running all over the house and yard with his brother, not wanting much to do with his mamma. He will grow up too fast for my liking.

Captain Big Brother has kept me busy throughout this pregnancy. I feel like I haven't had much time to ponder about and get excited for this new little being about to join our family. Thinking back to when we found out we were expecting, I have to admit I was not happy. It was a big surprise and frankly, there were slim chances I should have become pregnant- if you know what I mean...However, with an eternal perspective, I realize Heavenly Father knows what he is doing. It is the right time for this little soul to come to earth and join our family. I also know being a parent is one of the greatest ways our maker molds us into Gods and Goddesses like Himself. Pregnancy is part of that process too. Learning patience, trust in the Lord's timing, and reliance on Him for extra strength have all been lessons I have needed to learn. Maybe if I would learn these things quicker my heart and mind wouldn't be so restless. Who knows about my legs...

Although I'm trying to be patient, I can't wait to meet you, hold you, and kiss you little man! 

We love you already.

Calming A 39 Week Pregnant Woman

I have never done well dealing with stressful situation, especially when the end result is completely out of my hands. Being 37 weeks pregnant and thrown into one of those situations is even worse. Two weeks ago at my check-up it came to the surface that the clinic I go to did not have our insurance information correct. Just after finding out we were pregnant our insurance changed. At one of my first appointments I gave the office our new insurance card, they made a copy of it, and I didn't think any more of it for the next 7 months. Somehow our new information did not get put into their system, but to make matters worse, my doctor doesn't accept our insurance! How did this happen?! I kicked myself for not double checking that my doctor was a provider for our plan. I figured because our new insurance worked with IHC and my doctor did all was well, we were good to go. I also assumed the clinic would let me know if there were any issues. Somehow we both messed up and now being 39 weeks pregnant I still don't know who is going to deliver my baby. To spare you all the details of the many many phone calls I've made to the insurance company, I'll just say we are waiting for them to decide if they will make an exception and consider my doctor to be a provider just for this pregnancy and delivery.

Naturally I was stressed, emotional, and devastated when all of this happened. I really like my doctor and trust in his experience and judgement. He has a solid character and integrity as well, for which I am grateful. Realizing much of this was the clinics fault, he told me he would wave as much of the expenses as he could if the insurance wouldn't cooperate. He also has continued to see me for checkups and did two needed ultrasounds free of charge. Not only am I grateful for an understanding doctor, but for a loving Heavenly Father. After my appointment when the unfortunate news surfaced, I got in my car and completely broke down. All the stressful tears I had held back inside the clinic were freely flowing. Worry about what this could do to us financially overcame me. I said a silent prayer the whole way home and felt a peaceful reassurance everything would work out. Peace and comfort has filled my heart many times over the last two weeks as I've waited for everything to get sorted out. Although waiting to hear from our insurance and waiting for a baby to come is an unpleasant combination, I still feel at peace. Putting my confidence in the Lord by turning to him through prayer has help me deal with the crazy situation. The Atonement is real and infinite- so infinite it can calm an emotional pregnant woman's heart and mind. I'm truly grateful to know I have a Savior, a wise Heavenly Father, and knowledge of the Plan of Happiness.