A $500 Lesson : Part Two

After thinking and thinking and driving Heath crazy by talking about it every second possible, I finally arranged to meet with the guy selling the camera. The craziness of that night was another witness to me I shouldn't have bought the camera.

We met the seller in Salt Lake and I checked the camera out. Everything was working perfectly just like he said, so I decided to buy it. While I was looking at it, Heath was meant to drive to the bank to withdraw the money to buy it. The only problem was, he couldn't find the bank. He drove up and down the street looking for it. Brock was screaming, Jack was hungry and whining, and Heath was frazzled, which rarely happens to him. He came back to get me without the cash. The seller was understanding and said he would take care of a few errands and meet up with us again after we were able to get the money. We drove through downtown and found another Key Bank. I walked up to the doors literally seconds after they had closed. I tried to withdraw from the ATM but it would only let me take out so much. I was $100 short and the seller wouldn't take a check. It was an extremely stressful and frustrating evening. The frustration wasn't the only indicator the purchase wasn't the right decision. While stopping to get some dinner, we past the bank Heath couldn't find. It was in plain sight! He drove past it multiple times. Then, while driving to the freeway on-ramp, we past another Key Bank. This one was even closer to where I was looking at the camera and I had made a deposit there the week before! We both couldn't figure out why getting to our bank turned into such a problem.

At the time I thought the frustration of the night was because I didn't end up getting the camera that I wanted. However, a few days later I was able to meet the seller again to pay for and pick it up. This didn't solve any of my frustration. Even after getting it, I still felt uneasy. Thinking it was just the anxiety of jumping into something new, I decided to move forward.

 I did enjoy figuring out how to use all the fancy buttons and started getting ready for the two weddings I would be filming at the end of December for some friends. I had a great time filming Natalie's Bridal shoot and her and Tona's wedding day. I learned so much and became excited about what this could become for me. Editing and creating a movie for them was even more captivating for me. Days later I took some footage for a friend at the airport, of her bother arriving home from his mission. With the footage, some pictures, and a great song, I made a fun video for him to remember his mission. At the very end of December, I did a 'love story' interview for Ashley Bayles Johns and her new husband Tyler that turned into a video for their wedding reception. Creating these videos was fun, challenging, inspiring, and energizing for me. I really love capturing special, even simple, moments and making them into a memorable keep sake.

Despite all my excitement and passion, there was still an underlying uneasiness. Slowly, I was realizing just how much I didn't know about filming. Learning something completely foreign while taking care of two kids under the age of two was overwhelming. I noticed I wasn't enjoying my boys because I was preoccupied with learning the fine points of filming. In fact being a mom was far from enjoyable; Jackie and Brockster were annoying me because they continually prevented me from being glued to the computer or camera like I wanted to be. I loved doing videography, but it didn't feel right.

One day during all of this, I couldn't take the conflicting feelings any longer. Brock was napping and Jack occupied throwing and chasing his football. I said a silent prayer. After reviewing everything that had happened up to that point, I began to recognize those moments of uncertainty as the answer I didn't necessarily want to hear. At that moment I knew this was not the right thing for me to be spending my time on. Once I told myself that, a feeling of peace rushed over me like a giant wave rolling into shore. Right then I decided to finish up the videos I committed to doing and end trying to pursue being a wedding videographer there, at least for now.

The irony behind this videography exploration is that I planned on naming my potential business "Skipping Rocks Productions". The reason being my desire to capture and focus on enjoying the simple things of life- like playing hide and seek with Jack, giving Brock the fishie a bath, listening to Heath talk about his much loved, fat, black ladies in the field, or skipping rocks on a still lake. The videography distracted me from doing just that.

I can testify that doing what Heavenly Father wants me to do made me feel a million times happier than doing what I wanted to do. I had good logic behind my decision to buy the camera, but He is much smarter than me! At the beginning of this post I mentioned I'm glad I spent $500 when I shouldn't have. It was the best money I've spent in a long time! It taught me how the spirit speaks to me, that I have an incredibly supportive husband, and where true joy comes from. Well, my boys and I have some rock skipping to go do now...

A $500 Lesson : Part One

This is really strange for me to say, but I'm glad I spent $500 when I probably shouldn't have! Let me explain...

Over the last couple of years I've really enjoyed editing our home videos and making little movies from our vacations, of the boys, and for birthday celebrations. I filmed two weddings thinking I would be interested in becoming a wedding videographer. I just used our little handheld camcorder and had a lot of fun doing it, especially the editing. I spent many months thinking what it would take to break into the wedding industry as a videographer. I knew I would need a professional camera to get better footage. My search on KSL classifieds began. After being deceived and making one poor purchase (that's another story in and of itself...) I was back to the search on KSL.

After more research on the top prosumer video cameras, I found an excellent used one in my price range- a Canon XL2 with less than 100 hours of use and in mint condition for $500. The guy selling it used it to film for National Geographic and ESPN. This camera is legit. Its like the mother of all professional video cameras.

Heath and I had several discussions about whether or not to spend more money on another camera. I knew it was something I want to pursue, but wasn't sure exactly what it would take to make happen. I about made myself go crazy by analyzing the pros and cons of the purchase for days. Here's a sample of some of my thoughts-

Pros:

It would give me the chance to pursue something I enjoy, something that challenges me, something that makes me excited. I haven't really felt that way about much since I've stopped running. Heath told me the benefits of me having a hobby would be well worth the $500. Another pro, is the potential for making the $500 back and then some. It would be great to have a little more income, even though school teaches make bank...ha.

Cons:

Its a lot of money to spend, when I know very little about filming. It's money we should be putting in our medical savings account. I was also unsure how I would balance learning how to work such a fancy camera and all the technical filming skills, learn how to develop a business, take care of my boys, prepare a lesson for YW's each week, cook, clean, etc.

I continued to flip-flop on how I felt about the entire idea. Sometimes I thought "yeah, I should pursue videography" and sometimes the opposite thoughts, "no, not such a good idea". We prayed for direction and I continued to feel torn. Overall I didn't feel that great about buying the camera, but my strong desire to purchase it clouded my ability to see that. Hindsight, I realize that was the spirit trying to guide me.

(to be continued...)

Simple Moments : Peace and Quiet

On Thursday this week I took Jack to play group at his friend Kason's house. When I got home Brock was ready for a nap. He went down quick and stayed asleep for 1 hour!! Both completely out of character for Brock. I did the dishes, cleaned the kitchen and living room, and warmed up some leftovers for lunch. I can usually only get one of those things done while Brock is napping if I'm lucky. I was sitting at the table in the warm sunlight eating in a quiet house. Something so simple felt so incredibly good! I could enjoy my food, enjoy the sun, and actually think without someone interrupting by whining or pulling at my leg begging for something. Don't get me wrong- I LOVE my boys, but it was just the kind of moment I needed to rejuvenate and one I probably wouldn't have appreciated 2 years ago!

The "hApPy to YoU" Party

Heath and I could not decide how to celebrate Jack's birthday. He is only just getting birthdays figured out. All throughout Christmas, any candle he saw was a "happy to you". We wanted to make it fun for Jack without spending tons of money. Finally the week of his birthday we though of the perfect thing for the Captain- time to run and play in a gym. After sending out a last minute text invite to family and close friends the party was planned. Heath is quite talented. He came up with this in less than 3 minutes-

Jack's turning two. 

Here's an invite for you-

Join us in the church gym

for some fun and games with him.

If you can make it great, 

we will celebrate. 

We realize the date's not far away, 

so if you can't that's okay. 

Let us know either way!

On Saturday, before playing at the church, I decorated Jack's cake while he took a nap. I was pretty giddy the whole time decorating. It was fun to make a messy looking cake- no stress! 

Jack's reaction was even better than putting it together. "Cool tractor Mama!!....Cool!!" He was so so excited. Not getting to play with his new tractors or take a bite until we got to his party was killing the poor kid.

At the "happy to you" party (as Jack called it) we played with the Hammond cousins, Gma & Gpa Bleazard, and Aunt Haili and soon-to-be Uncle Tyler. We had bowling, M&M treasure hunts, and tower building contests. 

And what did Jack do during all the fun games?..."shoot bball"....

He wouldn't even stop for a picture with his cool cousins...

A block tower as tall as Tanner...

didn't even make him loose concentration on his shooting...

Jack tried to make a basket for a solid 30 mins. With his determination and as much as he practices, he is going to be a baller like his Gpa Kerry one day. 

After playing we ate Jack-style. 

Cereal, yogurt, cheese, bananas & peanut butter, oranges, gold fish, and water.

 Then came the "happy to you" song and candles. Jack acted like he had done this many times before. His cousins Mack and Ky were eager to help blow too.

And then presents....

We are so glad you joined our family two years ago!! 

Happy to you Jack!!

The Captain is Two! Wahoo!

Jack  (noun) : 1. a two year old boy with chubby cheeks, light brown hair, and big blue eyes.  /  2. a male toddler with a muscular physique; broad chest, long torso, pop belly, highly coordinated arms, and fast moving legs.  /  3. a child who weighs 30 lbs 1 oz and is 34.75 inches tall, with a head circumference of 49.5 cm.

Jack (verb) : 1. to canter in every possible direction with endless amounts of energy.  /  2. to show fervent concentration toward any object with a spherical appearance.  /  3. to exhibit a great deal of animation and thrill for everything life has to offer.  /  4. to captivate, charm, or spread joy to others. 

Jack  (adjective) : 1. possessing energy, especially in abundance.  /  2. showing great joy or triumph.  /  3. possessing wit in speech or expression; amusingly clever.  /  4. eager to learn, inquisitive. 

Those definitions only begin to describe The Captain. Over the course of Jack's two years of life, we're learning there's a lot packed inside that little body. He has a lot of personality and heart. There have been countless awe-filled moments with Jack that make me wonder what kind of spirit he was in the pre-existance and who he is going to become. This I know for sure- He will have a ball at his feet or in his hands as much as possible and he will try to share his happiness with others by making them smile and laugh. He already does those things so innately.

jabber box:

The Captains expressions are getting funnier by the day. I love listening to this kid jabber. Its starting to make sense too. Here's some of my favorite things he says...

• Cool
• Oh o-tay
• Oh tute (cute)
• Hear choo choo? (we can often hear the trains passing by the mountains)
• Not draw table...paper.
• Mamma, hold you (he means "hold me")
• Up we go!
• Jack, Daddy Bball shoot? (shoot hoops)
• Chauk-At milk, books? 
• What da matter Bawk (Brock)?
• Ewww. Bawk puk!
• Where Bawk?
• More cer-al (cereal) Mamma/Daddy peese (please).
• Mamma, out peese! (out of his high chair).

In the last several weeks we've noticed how much Jack is learning as he listens to us. He says a lot of things with the same tone of voice as we do. Here just two recent examples...

Jack was in the tub and wanted his daddy to come watch him do something. He yelled, "Daddy!" and again "Daddy!". With no response, he then yelled "Heats!!" (Heath). I could not stop from laughing. This was the first time, but not the last, he called his dad Heath. Its not too hard to guess who he's heard saying that. 

After finally getting Brock down for a nap it was time for some Jack play time. Jack told me he wanted to "socca ball"- this is when we kick the soccer ball in the kitchen to each other. He absolutely loves it when we play any game with a ball. I accidentally kicked it into the laundry room. While chasing it down, Jack said, "Good shoot mamma!"

big helper:

Not only is the Captain learning how to talk, but he's learning how to be a helper. He loves to help me load and unload the dish washer. He will be very focused on playing or watching a cartoon, but when I say "Jack can you come help me with dishes?", he usually jumps right up and says "Oh o-tay."

He also likes to clean up his toys before bed, put his clothes in his closet, help me cook and mop, and get out a diaper. binkie, or blanket for Brock. Through the summer and fall Jack loved to "help" his dad move sprinkler lines at the field. Heath told me Jack would often cover up the end of the pipe and laugh so he couldn't get the next line connected. There were major melt downs if Heath went without him. We've had plenty of not-so-helpful two year old moments too... I just hope his helpful attitude will last!

smartie pants:

I LOVE watching my Jackie learn and he loves learning. He is figuring out how to put his pants and shirts on by himself. He knows how to count to 2 and repeats it over and over thinking he is counting higher than 2 (1, 2, 1, 2, 1, 2...). He also knows the colors blue, green, yellow, orange, red, pink, and black, the letters A, B, and J, and the names and sounds of most animals.

silly billy:

Jack does some silly things on a daily basis. From walking out of our room with one of my sports bras around his neck to making the strange noises and goofy faces just to laugh at himself or insisting on wearing a hat and diaper all day, this kid keeps our house upbeat and fun. Describing his silly moments would not do them justice, so I'm not even going to try. My favorite thing about his silliness is that it reminds me to just enjoy life. Its impossible for me to not enjoy life with the Captain by my side!

cool big bro:

Jack is an awesome big brother. He takes so much interest in Brock and often shows concern for his little bud. When Brock cries or fusses, Jack sweetly asks, "what da matter Bawk?" or says, "it o-tay Bawk". When the Brockster is napping, its not uncommon for Jack to ask me where he is multiple times. Once he's awake, Jack gets really excited and runs into his room to tell him hi. Jack is becoming quite the teacher and tries to show Brock how to shoot and catch. Brock adores Jack; he watches him constantly and smiles and laughs when he gets any attention from his cool big bro. 

We love this kid! 

hApPy BiRtHdAy jAcK!!!